Women — actually, girls, at a young age learn of their supposed unavoidable expiration date. The gift that time brings us all:
becoming irrelevant.
becoming irrelevant.
A couple of friends ask, “How does it feel to be almost 30?!”
Actually?
It feels like this. I am everything I have ever wanted to be and
nothing you have ever wanted from me.
nothing you have ever wanted from me.
The gift that time has brought me: with each counting year I am alive,
I only become more sure of myself.
I only become more sure of myself.
Where I once praised proof by history as a means for believing in myself, I now exude blind faith.
It’s actually the most incredible gift.
Loving who I am has evolved into a definition that involves all parts. Not just the “good” ones. Not just the desirable ones. Not just the ones I made up in an attempt to be chosen as the version of myself I used to beg God to let me be.
All parts include the Dark. The regrets. The mistakes. The things I was taught as a kid to be ashamed of and repent for. I no longer repent,
for duality is the human experience.
for duality is the human experience.
My peace comes from knowing that the Dark in myself and my life
have ultimately shaped me into deeper alignment with my true Self.
Who I am today is a person who wouldn’t repeat certain actions and
that is my apology.
have ultimately shaped me into deeper alignment with my true Self.
Who I am today is a person who wouldn’t repeat certain actions and
that is my apology.
You can’t humble someone who has accepted all parts of themselves. You can’t pull up evidence explaining why someone isn’t worthy when that person has already decided they are. You can’t cause someone to doubt their abilities when they have unshakable certainty even before they have physical evidence.
"Yeah, I still believe she deserves it all."
“Who does she think she is?” becomes a compliment.
I am exactly who I say I am.
I am exactly who I say I am.
I look into the mirror and I see Her for all that she is.
And she is worthy of everything.
And she is worthy of everything.
Thank God the masks I wore in an attempt to rid myself of the feeling that I don't fit in anywhere never succeeded in coming to fruition.
The same feeling that used to haunt me became the feeling I rejoice in.
Thank GOD I have the gift of a different viewpoint.
I had an ex once tell me that women drastically change once they turn 28. That somehow who they really are wouldn’t come out until then.
Turns out he was right.
28 year old me would’ve been his worst nightmare.
28 year old me would’ve been his worst nightmare.
Cheers to 29.
